In Between Waking and Dreams

Conversations with your spouse come in many forms.  There are silly ones, serious ones, business conversations and ones centered around nothing in particular.  As of late, I've discovered that some of my favorite conversations with Mr. T happen when I wake him from a deep sleep.  The words he utters in between waking and dreams entertain me to no end.

The other day we went to bed and I got a major case of the "itchys".  Convinced we had bed bugs, I got up, turned on the lights, retrieved fresh linens from the closet in our bedroom and hovered over Mr. T waiting for him to wake up so we could remake the bed.  I waited and waited and waited for a solid 38 seconds before growing impatient and giving him a little nudge.

Mr. T:  "What's wrong, honey?"
Me:  "I think we have bed bugs.  I'd like to change the sheets."  (granted it is very late at night)
Mr. T:  (not fully awake has the following conversation with himself)  "NO, please no!!!!  Ugh!  It's all in her head.  Alright.  It's okay.  I love her.  Ugh!" 

I was quite amused by the little pep talk he gave himself.  He threw off the covers and we changed the sheets.

Mr. T:  "Feel better now?"
Me:  "Much.  Well, all except for the pillow cases we didn't change are still itching me."
Mr. T:  (sigh)

A couple of nights later, I got up to use the bathroom - big surprise there.  I turned to walk back into our bedroom and stopped short in my tracks.

Me:  "Honey?"
Mr. T:  (snoring)
Me:  "Hon-eeeeeeeey??????????"
Mr. T:  (suddenly alert and perhaps concerned that I had some baby news to report)  "Yeah!"
Me:  "Um, can you come and kill this spider?"
Mr. T:  "Ugh!  (long pause)  Okay....." 

He gets out of bed, stumbles red-eyed to the hallway, takes the toilet paper from me, kills the darn thing and returns to bed.

Me:  "Are you sure you crushed it?"
Mr. T:  (silence)
Me:  "Thank you so much.  It's just that...well...it was a BLACK one.  And I'm pretty sure it had a white spot on it's back?  Is that a black widow?"  (we've had this same conversation 100 times)
Mr. T:  "Black widows don't live in Nebraska."
Me:  "Yea, but how do they KNOW that!?!  Have they scoured every inch of Nebraska looking for them!?!"
Mr. T:  "Same way they know polar bears don't live in Nebraska."
Me:  "Oh.  Well, it doesn't seem EXACTLY the same to me."
Mr. T:  (snoring)

Don't we lead such a charming and interesting life? 
No need to answer that.

In other news, today is my last day at work...paying work that is.  Our Tidytot is due in two weeks, so let the nesting begin.  Now I can finally have time to dust our blinds!