If You Believe They Put a Man on the Moon

Last weekend I made the journey to Oklahoma where my sister, Mom and Aunt joined together for "Sister Shopping Weekend!"  We shopped on Saturday from 9:30 am to 9:30 pm.  That's 12 hours folks!  I came home, took a shower and went to bed.  My "dogs started barkin'" around 1:17 in the afternoon.  And if you know what that phrase means, you're my kind of people.
Despite a lot of walking in sub-par sandals, we had a great time!  I love hanging out with my funny, sweet, generous family.  They are lovely in every way.

We spent quite a bit of time looking for baby stuff.  It's nice to get it while the gettin's good.  We don't have a lot of stores where I live and I think paying shipping is a huge bummer.

Anyway, whilst we were looking at baby stuff we came across one of the great mysteries in life, and it is this:

WHY do they make one thing that SWINGS your baby and one things that BOUNCES your baby?
HOW the heck are you supposed to know which one your baby will prefer?
And IF they are smart enough to send a man to the moon and figure out a way for him to walk around up there, you'd think they could figure out how to make a thing that BOTH swings AND bounces your baby so you only have to buy/use/store ONE THING!!!

Of course they know a way to combine them...
There has GOT to be a way...
But that way doesn't make them as much money...
So they keep it a big secret and make new Moms like me either choose one and possibly waste money on making the wrong choice OR buy two things.


It doesn't really matter because Mr. T and I plan to have one of those babies that coos sweetly all the time and then drifts into peacefully to sleep.  We put in a request to for a mature and respectful baby, but you know how those things go.  Sometimes the paperwork gets lost in the shuffle.  We'll just have to be prepared for whatever comes our way. 

And if there is something in existence that will help comfort our baby's cries, chances are we will buy it and use it and store it, just like millions of parents who have gone before. 


Cultural Observations

Where I live...

It's cattle country.
And farm country.
And people visit at length about the amount of rain we've had or didn't have.

People also talk a lot about football, which they seem to know a lot about.

People also visit at length about politics.
If you're not a Republican, you're not allowed to attend public schools, seek medical attention or open a checking account.  So you better vote Republican if you know what's good for you.

In fact, if anyone upsets you, offends you, is rude, or cuts you off in traffic, you can pretty much bet they are "one of those Democrats" and "they voted for Obama"...

...who is, of course, the ONE person responsible for ruining this entire country.

And when I travel to the big city and see people with bumper stickers on their cars that are PRO Obama, I think "My goodness, I haven't seen anything like that in over a YEAR!"

(That's all exageration, of course.  It's not really like that...for the most part.  That last line about bumper stickers is pretty true.)

So here I am.
Learning more all the time on things related to farming, football and politics! 


Recent Conversation

Me:  "Is my butt starting to look fat?"

Mr. T: (hesitating) "No...not...fat?"

Me:  "Really?"

Mr. T:  "It just looks a little more...plump."



On Monday, we went to see if our little TidyTot is a Boy or a Girl.  However, that ornery little monkey had their legs crossed the entire time!  So we'll have to wait and try again in 6 weeks. 

Let me tell you what it's like to have a sonogram:

1 - Drink 32 ounces of water

2- Let the water migrate to your bladder over the next hour

3 - Pray with all your might that you do not sneeze, laugh, get scared by a spider, or hiccup within that hour, otherwise you will experience total disaster.

4 - Check into the Dr.'s office.

5 - Wait.

6 - Continue praying.  (See #3)

7 - Be prepared for a delayed appointment.  For example, we went and they didn't have us down in the books.  Some strange mix up.  While they were fixing it, I was in the lobby trying to take shallow breaths and think about whatever did NOT involve waterfalls, rain, or leaky faucets.  Meanwhile, a Baby Monkey continued to use my bladder as a trampoline.  The only comfort was watching my Knight in Shining Armor (Mr. T) speak to the employees from time to time and say something along the lines of, "You realize...she's gotta go...BAD!"  Translation, "TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE PEOPLE!!!" 

8 - Ahhh, finally everything is sorted and you can begin the sonogram.

9 - But you're not done yet.  The next part involves them pushing hard on your stomach and FULL bladder for the next 40 minutes or so.  It's okay.  You're distracted by the pictures of your little one on the screen in front of you.

10 - Finally done!  You whisper, "See you later" to the fuzzy, cherished image and look forward to the day you can hold that little baby in your arms.

11 - Now you have a full bladder AND a full heart!

12 - Then you get to pee.  It's going to take about 10 minutes.  You worry that you will overflow the toilet with liquid.  You also worry a little that the lab tech can hear you going because he's just outside the door.  Doesn't matter, really.  Just feels good to be able to go!!!!

13- Lastly, you thank them for their time and leave.

Next, we went to the regular Dr. because I had some warts that needed frozen off.  I'm pretty sure I picked them up from some sweet orphan children in India.  True story.  I've had them for a long time and enough's enough already! 

Have you ever had warts frozen off?  It hurts!

Mr. T was by my side the whole time with his arms around me to comfort me in my trial and pain.  Unfortunately for him, he also had his face down by my face and when the pain got a little intense, I accidentally bit him right on his eyebrow!  Whoops. 

I'm sure the Dr. thought, "You think this hurts, wait until you're in labor!" 

That's kind of what we were thinking too, which is why we are going to get this for Mr. T to wear as he's coaching me through labor. 

Sure it's a little creepy, but SAFETY FIRST.  I'm not sure what I'll be capable of when I'm in that level of pain.  I think it's necessary.  Plus, there are slits at the bottom of the mask so he can still coach me through my breathing.  And the breathing will sound AWESOME!

So now you know everything about sonograms and warts.

Until next time...


Kansas City!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my, I've had so much to write about as of late.  But alas, the writing has not been writ - mostly because it's too hot to type.  This insane heat makes my wrists turn into goo and my fingers swell and my brain goes into a fog, all of which make it impossible to type a darn thing. 

But, I've chosen to overcome.
As you may have noticed because this is my third post today.

Let me tell you all about our trip to Kansas City!!!

We started out towards my hometown in Kansas to drop off our little dog, Annie.  She's been wanting to stay the night with her Grandpa and Grandma S, so we thought this would be a good opportunity.

Then, onward to Silverlake, KS to visit my long-time and dear friend, Tara, who just had baby boy #3.  All three of her boys are stinkin' adorable!  Tara made delicious fajitas and we had a lovely talk about everything from Obamacare to nursing.  It's always good to see her and her sweet family.

Next, onto Kansas City to stay with my former roomies, Jordanne and Melissa. On Saturday, they made us a yummy breakfast, then we went to City Market.

That's JB and Mel Mel.  Oh, and some guy in red who was obsessed with us.
Can you blame him?!?

This is a picture of true love.  It's also a good illustration/warning to everyone that if our children figure out how to give me that cutsie-sideways-glance, they are going to get away with just about anything.

And just for fun, this is us doing the traditional "Wedding Ring Pose".  You know, like what people do right after they get engaged.

After City Market, we had lunch at an authentic Mexican joint downtown with Darci Webster and Jessica Weast.  And we chatted.  And it was magical.

Then, onto Starbucks, where we got to visit with EVEN MORE of my favorite people on the whole planet!!!!  The Gilmores, the Knapps and Megan Schulte.
It was so great to see them and catch up on life and laughs and such.

Next, church at Legacy Christian Church.

Then, dinner with Paul and Tiffany Mills (the couple who introduced us/got us into this mess in the first place.)  They treated us to Indian food!!!  Like ethnic food!  As in, NOT meat and potatoes, which is the only kind of food you can get in Nebraska.  Ahhh, heaven.  And I ate way too much!  And we stayed way too late talking.  I'm sure they were so tired the next day, but it was so great to visit.

Um, then bed, because we were beyond tired.

The following morning, we were up and at 'em - The Color Run was upon us.  And it was HOT outside!

Here's us shiny clean.

And there's me, after Mr. T threw green paint on my face and in my mouth.  Notice which one of us is smiling and which one of us is NOT smiling.

Oh, but I got him back!  At the end of the race I dumped a bunch of blue paint down his shorts.  This picture was taken right after it.  (For some reason, he doesn't really have eyebrows in this picture.)  Anyway, the paint has taken a while to wash off, so I've started calling him "Smurfy".  I am fully confident that one day he will see the humor in that name.

All done!  Fresh coat of paint, tired, thirsty, hungry, stinky and having a grand time!

See?  We're very celebratory.
That's because we weren't yet fully aware that we were going to have to walk 10 miles back to our car.  But, we made it!

And now Mr. T and I are done exercising because, like I said before, it's too hot.

Later that afternoon, we said goodbye to Kansas City and the beautiful people who live there and made our way back to spend some much needed time with Grandpa and Grandma S, AKA "The Best Parents a Girl Could Ask For!"  They spoil us every time we go there.  But even if they didn't spoil us, we'd still love them just as much!!!

We arrived back home tired and happy and tired and a little more tired, but truly happy.

I realized I have many "homes" because there are many places where I'm blessed with beautiful friendships! 

Pump Up the Jam

The other day I set the radio in Mr. T's car to the Hip-Hop station.
(Do the kids still call it "Hip-Hop"?)

Regardless, I think he liked it. 
For the next several days, he would come into the house singing great tunes like

"Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
"Hey, Must Be the Money" by Nelly.

Mr. T's actually pretty cool.
Especially considering he drives a Buick, rolls down the windows and pumps up the jam!

There's A First For Everything

Like Anniversaries!
Mr. T and I celebrated ours (like a month ago). 

We headed up to middle-of-nowhere Nebraska and stayed at a beautiful Hunting Lodge/Bed and Breakfast place called the Comstock Lodge. 

Don't worry pacifist friends, no animals were harmed during our stay.

Except for maybe the cat that Mr. T petted within an inch of it's life, until he was completely covered in hair.  That all took place while I was making a mad dash into town to purchase a toothbrush at the local gas station.  I think the toothbrush cost about $7 and felt kind-of like a grill scrubber on my gums, but whatever. 

The above picture is of the Buffalo Room where we stayed.  It was a lot nicer than the Wakeeney, KS Super 8 hotel room we stayed in during our first night of wedded bliss a year ago.  Except the Buffalo Room had that giant buffalo head in there, with it's beady eye staring down on us the whole time.  I kind of felt like throwing a shirt over it's eye or something, because "Hello, privacy please!" 

The next morning, we had bacon, eggs and toast before heading on our way for an afternoon of canoeing.  It was a little windy outside, but mostly our afternoon looked something like this:

It was a nice change from the river adventure we took on our first date.  That trip looked a little more like this:

Oh, how I wish I was exaggerating...

Anyway, it was a lovely weekend and a great celebration of our first year of that mysterious and wonderous thing they call marriage.

And in case I haven't mentioned it for awhile, Mr. T is a great husband/friend/father.  He makes my life better

Here's to a zillion more!