This picture:
Mountain Bouquet by Katie Daisy on Etsy
And, I want to be pregnant...
and I want to blog about my pregnancy...
and compare the size of my growing baby to various fruits and vegetables...
and write love letters to my unborn...
and deliver a healthy baby...
and take pictures of my baby and my husband asleep together on the couch...
As a leader, the health of your marriage directly affects the impact of your leadership. I have witnessed this time and time again. Being effective at work or in ministry begins by being effective at home.
Early in our marriage, Gail and I attended a church led by a dynamic, thirty-something pastor. He was an extraordinary communicator. He was a wise and empathetic counselor. As a result, the church grew rapidly.
But as we got better acquainted with him and his wife, we started noticing a disturbing trend in the way they related to one another. They would often make disparaging remarks about the other in public.
At first, it seemed cute. Their comments seemed playful and humorous. Everyone laughed. But over time, they became more and more pointed, thinly masking their frustration with one another.
We ultimately left that church. But several years later we learned they suffered an ugly divorce, both admitting to multiple affairs. They lost their family, and, of course, their ministry. To this day, it grieves me to think about it.
Conversely, I noticed that Sam Moore, my predecessor at Thomas Nelson, always spoke highly of his wife. He would often say, “I hate to leave her in the morning, and I can’t wait to see her in the evening.” They have been married now for nearly 60 years. Last time Gail and I were with them, they were holding hands. It was obvious they were still in love.
In reflecting on these two experiences, I am convinced that praising your spouse in public is one of the most important investments you can make—in your family and in your leadership.
This is important for at least five reasons:
You get more of what you affirm. Have you ever noticed that when someone praises you, you want to repeat the behavior that caused it? This is just human nature. It can be a form of manipulation if it isn’t genuine. But it can be a powerful way to motivate others when it is authentic.
Affirmation shifts your attitude toward your spouse. Words are powerful tools. They can create, or they can destroy. They can build up, or they can tear down. I believe most people have a drive to align their actions—and their attitudes—with their words. If you start speaking well of someone, you start believing what you say.
Affirmation helps strengthen your spouse’s best qualities. Encouragement is also a powerful force for good. All of us need positive reinforcement. This is why when we are losing weight and people notice, it gives us the strength to stick with the program. This is true in every area of life.
Affirmation wards off the temptation of adultery. When others see you are happily married, they are less likely to proposition you. It’s like a hedge that protects your marriage from would-be predators. You simply stop being a target.
Affirmation provides a model to those you lead. To be a truly effective leader, you must lead yourself, and then you must lead your family. Your marriage is a powerful visual of how you treat the people you value the most. When you speak highly of your spouse, your followers are more likely to trust you. It takes your leadership to another level.
Affirming your spouse in public is an investment that pays big leadership dividends. In a world where fewer and fewer marriages last, it can be a difference-maker.
Once, while on my way to Kansas City, I rented Skipping Christmas by John Grisham on cd to listen to in the car.
Although I thought it was "so-so" I still wanted to see the movie they made based on the book, "Christmas with the Kranks".
I rented it at the library last night.
While a big pot of collard green and ham soup (no lie) was simmering on the stove, Mr. T and I watched the movie.
It was also, "so-so".
Actually, I didn't like it that much.
Upon completion of the move, Mr. T said, "Do you want to watch Steel Magnolias or something?"...because I was talking the day before about watching Steel Magnolias...because it's my favorite movie.
I said, "Not really, we just watched a movie."
He said, "Well it's gotta be better than Christmas with the Kranks."
That's when I realized my plan had worked!!!
Plan #4 on a list of 10 Plans:
4) Watch movies that are way sub par to Steel Magnolias, so that when the time comes to view the movie, Mr. T actually looks forward to seeing it.
Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!
Ahhhh, the joy of being gifted in bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills and of course - manipulation skills. (Partial Napoleon Dynamite quote)
Last night I decided to make biscuits to use up some leftover buttermilk I had.
A reliable source told me that you can "cut in" the butter using your food processor.
So I decided to make a double recipe and proceeded to prep all the ingredients...including SIX sticks of butter. We only had 5. Mr. T looked at all that butter sitting on top of that little bit of flour and said, "I think 5 is plenty." And he was right. My heart hurts just thinking about eating one of those biscuits.
While I was measuring the flour and such, Mr. T was telling me about the time his money was tight and he only had flour and water to eat. I've heard this story before, but this time he announced, "There's something I COULD have made! Hard tack! Like what they ate in the Civil War. Of course, you can mix flour and water and let it sit for a long time...like a week...and it will eventually rise and turn into bread...." and on he went until it was time to mix the biscuit ingredients in the food processor.
I think when you add the butter, you're supposed to cut it into pieces first. We didn't do that. We added whole sticks...which didn't work...so we had to "process" the biscuits a lot...until it looked more like pudding than like biscuit batter.
"I don't think this is gonna work" is the only thing I was thinking/feeling/saying repeatedly.
However, we had come this far, so I thought I might as well try to bake them. I loaded a pan with blobs of biscuit pudding, put them in the oven and crossed my fingers.
After about 20 minutes and periodic checking, I was starting to think something was really wrong because they weren't setting up. I put my thinking cap on, went over many possible diagnosis for the problem, and concluded that - ah - you have to turn the oven ON before they will cook right. And that's what I did...
They actually aren't too bad. I cut up some strawberries, mixed sugar in them and had a nice strawberry shortcake.
