Four Leaf Clovers

"When are you going to have another baby?"

It's a question we get asked often.

"Well, we've been trying for a long time, so whenever God says it's time, I guess."

We know all about charting and timing and the basics of baby making.  It's not rocket science.  But there are certainly days when it just seems hopeless.

I'm not sure when you are technically considered infertile.  I know there are scientific standards, but I think you're considered infertile when you've had more negative pregnancy tests than you can count, when your cycle starts and your eyes well up with tears, when it seems like every third person you see has a blooming belly. 

Every month something happens to make me think, "This is it!"

"I feel nauseous; I'm totally pregnant!"
"Man, I'm so tired.  Maybe this is it!"
"Ugh, that shampoo smells like wet dogs.  Hey, it could mean..."

This month was no exception.  I felt like there were several signs that were making me suspicious of a pregnancy.  And like other months, I was wrong.

Last week, Mr. T and I were playing with Tidytot in a field that had clover in it.

"I've always wanted to find a four leaf clover.  When I was a kid I searched and searched and never found one."
"Well, here's your chance," said Mr. T.
"How's about if I find a four-leaf clover, it will be a sign that we can have another baby."

So, I searched.
I searched and searched and searched and low and behold, I found one!

A diamond in the rough, the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, a rare jewel...

We want to have more children.
We know that God is in control of building our family.
We are so thankful for all we have already.

I told Mr. T the other day that I have my hope placed in three things.
Primarily, God.  We're not going to have another baby until he says so.
Second, our health.  We are working hard to eat well, exercise and rest.
And lastly, four leaf clovers.

The News

We got the test results back from Sage's CT scan and she is okay.  Such a relief!

In other news...we don't really have much news.  Mr. T and I are just about as boring as they come.  He's been spending a lot of time at work and I've been puttering around the house doing who knows what.  I feel very accomplished if, at the end of the day, the dishes are done, the floor is swept and the coffee is ready to go for the next morning.

I have been sneaking some time here and there to watch some TV.  The last season of Dancing with the Stars just finished.  Dancing shows always make me feel like with just a little effort I could easily recreate their routines.  In fact, I'd sometimes pull Mr. T off the couch and make him reenact a few of the dance moves with me.  We are still working on these:


We've almost got that last one down. 

It helps that Mr. T and I have been working on our physiques.  We started a diet plan called the 21 Day Fix.  We did the 21 days and each lost about 7 pounds.  Since then, we've backed off a bit.  Fortunately, we haven't gained any weight back, but we haven't lost any either.  I think we are ready to dive back in.  I still have 12 pounds to go and my fear of swimsuits is slightly greater than my love of sugar...sometimes.

We do feel better already.  I've been pretty much gluten free for over a month now and my allergies have been much better this year.  I think it's linked.

Soon I'll type out a report on Tidytot, including pictures and a description of her latest antics.  She's a hoot!


CT Scan

Tomorrow we are taking Tidytot to the hospital for a CT scan.  She was born with a large soft spot which has been closing over time, however recently our Dr. has become worried that something might be preventing it from closing entirely.  Just to be sure, we need to do the scan, and in order to do the scan she has to lay very still, and in order for her to lay very still they have to sedate her. 

The worry I feel sits deep in my bones, not so much about the procedure, but about the test results.  On the heels of thinking, "I'm sure everything is going to be just fine" are the tiresome"what if's."  Truly, I do think everything will be just fine.  She isn't delayed in any way and seems very 18 month old-ish.

In the mental tug-of-war between peace and worry, we choose to lay the later at the feet of Jesus and we pray for all the things we want.  Health.  Peace.  An easy road.  Knowing we might not get the things we want, we pray for grace should He choose to send us on a harder path. 

And, in the meantime, we work hard to not let the worry show on our faces.